Last week I wrote a blog post explaining why I don’t like the label ‘Princess’. Within ten minutes of that post going live I had been contacted on twitter by a stranger who called me a
“hypersensitive idiot”.
Ok, I thought that is your opinion and we live in a world where we can all freely express our opinions. However, most of us choose to do it in a respectful manner. On futher investigation of his twitter page it soon became clear that I had got off very lightly as he basically spent his days spouting hateful diatribe towards anyone who said anything vaguely feminist. It got me thinking about how today in the western world we live in a society where on the surface we seemingly promote equality, tolerance and unity. Women are now, more than ever, closing the gap in pay.
There are more women in top paying jobs than ever before. More women in the house of commons, more women changing the world. Yet is this unity really our reality? Not if you looked down a toy aisle. If you did you could be forgiven for thinking that you were in the 1950s.
Despite living in a progressive society we continue to have toys that push gender stereotypes that are both regressive and damaging.
What kind of message are we sending to our children about what their future role and occupation in society will be? According to our toy shops all women are tied to the kitchen sink, making themselves beautiful whilst having babies. On the other hand men get to build things, blow-up things and drive fast cars. Even toys that once were gender neutral are no longer. Take Lego for example with its pink range for the girls which consists of building pretty pink shopping malls. No doubt twitter man would tell me that I am being hypersensitve, perhaps I am, does it really matter?
Well, I think that it matters a great deal. I believe that children should be allowed to have access to a wide range of toys and play experiences. Research has shown that play with what would be classed as “masculine” toys helps with large motor development and spatial skills whilst your stereotypical “feminine” toys helps with fine motor development, language development and social skills. So limiting children to gender specific toys could limit their overall development leading to gender disaprities. This in turn leads to lack of self-confidence.
We like to think we live in a society that is united but our shops prove that this is not the case and it isn’t just toys that are gender specific. We see it practically everywhere. With toothbrushes for the girls in bubblegum pink and covered in hearts, to books that are clearly marketed for boys and books for girls. But perhaps the one that infruriates me the most is clothes. The most labelled of them all after toys. Whilst boys clothes are predomiantly blue with slogans like cheeky monkey, girls are bright pink covered with sequins and slogans like princess. These gender distinctions do have an impact on our children. My oldest won’t wear trousers to school as she believes that is for boys and worries about what the other girls will say. She is 6 years old and despite me telling her that trousers aren’t just for boys and even though she finds her tights infuriating she refuses to wear trousers for fear that she will be called a boy. She is doing it for self-preservation.
When a boy is presented with a toy that is labelled as being a girls he won’t play with it and the same for girls. However, if a boy is given the same toy that is now labelled as being for boys he will play with it. This also applies to girls. What this tells us is that labels do matter and that they are limiting. If we want a society that is inclusive and tolerant we need to stop labelling our children. We need to get away from the sea of pink sparkles that signals this is for girls only. My childrens’ Dad (Mr C) is a Structural Engineer. He works in an industry where there is now a huge shortage of women engineers. England has the lowest proportion of women engineers out of the whole of Europe. Gender specific toys has sent that constant message that engineering, construction and science is for boys only. Those gender labels are not only damaging to our children but also to the future of our economy and society.
In our house we are dismantling the gender stereotypes and we are fighting back against the gender specific labels because we don’t want our daughters growing up in a segregated society.
Well said! If you are oversensitive about this then so am I. I recently had a twenty minute rant with a co-worker about a toy catalogue which had coloured the pages with the kitchens and dollshouses in pink and the ones with the construction toys and science kits in blue. Since my son loves playing kitchen and her daughter loves to wear hard hats and wants to be an engineer, we were both pretty cross about it. Lets dress all our kids in every colour of the rainbow and stop limiting them by telling them what they can and can’t like! #Marmondays
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Thanks for your comment and I’m so glad that you agree and that i’m not the only one who gets annoyed by it :-) x
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I also completely agree with you. I have daughters and a son which somehow makes it easier at home as they share and play with each others things. However, the minute they step foot outside our house, stereotyping leaps out and hits them in the face. It is very disappointing in 2016! #MarvMondays
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Yes, you just feel that shops shouldn’t be pushing those very old fashioned stereotypes
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This is something I feel very strongly about too! My girl plays with all kinds of toys from both sections of the toy shop. Her favourite is Lego, definitely! :) #MarvMondays
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Yes, lego is a big favourite in our house too. Thanks for your comment :-)
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Well said! It seems weird that this has become worse over the years rather than better. I don’t remember the endless tide of pink from when I was growing up and I don’t want that for the Tubblet. I want her to enjoy the things she likes without worrying whether they’re things girls “should or shouldn’t do” (allegedly).
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Exactly, they should feel free to play with whatever they choose. I feel that it has got worse but it would be interesting to know for sure and also why it has got worse…
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Funnily enough, I have a post in my drafts, which I still haven’t decided on whether to publish, about why I will let my daughters wear pink and be princesses, even though I dislike it. But it’s not about arguing that toys should remain gender segregated - they shouldn’t, and children should be encouraged to play with any toys they want. It is about whether it is right to go the other way & actively try to prevent girls from playing with ‘girly’ toys. #fartglitter
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That sounds like an interesting post that I would like to read. I completely agree, it is about the child being able to decide without being steered in a certain direction. Today my youngest is wearing a pink tutu dress over her jeans whilst playing with her cars! :-)
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What astounds me is that some people are so affronted by anyone saying anything vaguely feminist that they will literally go online and purposely seek out bloggers/writers like you (or I, as this has also happened to me a number of times) purely to troll them. If anyone wonders why I get so angry about inequality, that in itself provides the answer. #fartglitter
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I know! At first I was worried that I had been out of order but the more I thought about it the more cross I became. So cross in fact that I have written another post about how we can’t say anything vaguely femininst without fear of criticism! That should be the last of the ranting posts then-I hope :-)
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I absolutely agree. My son has a doll and lots of role play stuff and he loves it. The pink Lego in particularly really gets my back up. Thanks for sharing #marvmondays x
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Glad i’m not the only one! :-) Thanks for your comment x
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I totally get you. My boy loves playing with the Play-doh cupcake factory. My parents were so shocked, as the packaging made it look like it’s for girls only. I was like, so what! Tyler loves making cupcakes! Also I hate the Lego pink range, why isn’t the normal range ok for girls?? Ugh! xx
#MarvMondays
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It’s bonkers isn’t it! And yes why make Lego pink when it didn’t need to be! Thanks for your comment x
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Couldn’t agree more. My son loves cars and trains but he’ll also push round a toy pram with a dolly or a teddy in it. He really likes playing with his toy kitchen and making us all ‘cups of tea’ as well. I neither encourage or discourage - i just let him pick and choose and get on with it. Equally I have a three year old niece who we bought a remote control car for Christmas (from the boys aisle of course) - she went absolutely mental and loved it! I’ll share your post on Twitter #brillblogposts
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Thanks for your lovely comment and here’s to us continuing to let our children choose and ignoring the stereotypes pushed on them by the shops! :-)
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I’m totally with you. This stresses me out deeply. I’m trying to give my boy access to all toys but I’m afraid of the day he’ll refuse to because they are ‘for girls’
#fartglitter
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Yes as they get older they definitely start to respond to the stereotypes that they see everywhere but at least we are giving them the best start by giving them access to all of the toys :-)
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Hi! I have the same issue but the other way around. As a Mum of boys I find they are constantly being told certain colours and prints are for girls, that ´those´ toys are for girls,and I really dislike the way everything is so gender dominated. My neice plays with lego which is deemed normal by everyone but if my son plays with a doll he is frowned upon. I design childrens shoes and clothes and I try to make them as gender stereotype free as possible. Society should be past these stereotypes by now! #picknmixfridays
http://www.rockingmummysworld.wordpress.com
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It’s so frustrating isn’t it. Why shouldn’t boys play with dolls. They shouldn’t be frowned upon if anything it should be praised as playing with dolls will help ensure that grow up into completely rounded adults! I agree it really is about time society left these stereotypes behind.
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Oh I get so angry and upset with this issue! My son has always loved playing with all kinds of toys, and watching programs that are probably labelled ‘girls’ programs. But since he started school (he’s still only 4 now) he’s started telling me “boys can’t play with that, that’s just for girls”. I don’t know who this has come from at school but it really bothers me. I keep telling him that anyone can play with anything they like, and he seems to take comfort in that. It just makes me sad to think that he’ll give up things he enjoys just because of social pressure to do ‘boy’ things. x
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Awww it is sad when they start speaking like that. We have the same issue with oldest at the moment but we just gently remind her that isn’t the case and she should free to play with what she likes.
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Yes, I couldn’t agree with you more! It is amazing how social influences have taught us to think. We are told certain colors represent a certain sex and gender specific toys should match the gender of the child. In our house we buy toys and everyone plays with all the toys. My smallest daughter loves her brothers toys and I encourage her to play with whatever she chooses. My son plays with Spider-Man and army men but he loves teddy bears.
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I’m glad that you agree :-) and it’s great that you are encouraging them to play with a wide range of toys
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Yes there is absolutely nothing with sharing toys amongst the different genders. There is a reason people need to be around both and that’s because both sexes brings balance. Even though people learn towards one direction or another female and male are still both needed.
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Absolutely! Couldn’t agree more :-)
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We were out shopping before Christmas and the ‘girl’ aisle was full of toy kitchens, hoovers, and even a toy cleaning trolley. The boy aisle was full of trains, planes, police uniforms and doctor kits. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a ‘housewife’ or working in hospitality, but I just hate the way its still portrayed as the default option for girls, and something boys should only look down on. Feminism is just as much about making it acceptable for males to work in ‘female’ fields as it is the other way around. x #fabfridaypost
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Absolutely, it is about making all toys available to both genders
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Thankfully, we our home and our school support busting the gender roles. Lots of places are joining in. Target stores recently announced that they no longer will have separate sections for girls or boys. Toys are toys. Play is play. The time is now! Let’s sieze it. Great read. Ty
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Wow that’s great that Target is doing that, perhaps our stores will follow suit. Here’s hoping! :-)
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Me and my girls get so cross about this. Especially as all the science stuff is always in the ‘boys’ section. My girls really notice this… and even though we often discuss such things it must be feeding them a negative message!!
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I totally agree with this!
My little boy plays with baby dolls, and my little girl plays with lego & cars!
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I completely agree! I hate that my boy is deterred from the girls section and I also hate that anything with Peppa Pig on is frilly and pink. Gender stereotyping is ridiculous, I love the idea of boys playing with dolls and learning how to be fab brothers and fathers and girls playing with cars and tools! Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays! Kaye xo
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Beautifully put - it’s consumerism at it’s worst - well balanced upbringing can do heaps to help with this though. Another great post islandliving365! #sundaystars
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Awww thanks, you are too kind :-)
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This is a brilliant post and I agree with every word. We have always bought Little Miss toys - irrespective of whether they are designed for boys or for girls. She has dolls and building blocks. A kitchen and an Octopod. I have also bought her clothes in every colour. And I refuse to buy her any t-shirt with the logo “My Princess”. Woman get pigeonholed in society sooner or later. It is tragic that this begins when our children are so small. I remember Little Miss H wearing a cute blue and white dotted sleepsuit at one day old and an elderly lady in the hospital telling me off for putting my newborn daughter in blue. It is this type of viewpoint that infuriates me. Sorry to rant. Thanks for a great post and thanks for linking to Sunday Stars. Hugs Lucy xxxx
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Great post!! My girls are naturally very girlie girls. They won’t wear trousers (not even jeans or pyjamas) as they want to wear “pretty dresses, skirts and nightdresses”. I have no idea where they get this from because I live in jeans and pyjama bottoms. Having said that, they love playing with play-doh and lego. #SundayStars xx
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